‘Sister Wives’ star Meri Brown is ‘out of limbo land.’ Inside her life now

“Who knew divorce would make you popular?” 

Meri Brown, speaking to TODAY.com, is able to find humor in this era of her life, which she says is defined by “forward movement.”

It’s been two years since the “Sister Wives” star and her ex-husband Kody Brown announced that they were permanently terminating their marriage after more than three decades together.

Since then, Meri has relocated to Utah, dipped her toes into the dating pool again and started actively prioritizing her own happiness as she embarks on this next phase of her life.

“It’s interesting because you can really see a shift in this season,” she says, reflecting on Season 19 of “Sister Wives.”

In the latest batch of episodes of the TLC reality series, viewers watch Meri transform into a more self-assured version of herself as she leaves her plural marriage behind.

It’s a refreshing change of pace for the reality star, who spent nearly a decade trying to repair her marriage while Kody routinely exhibited indifference and made nonchalant comments (most often in private confessional interviews) suggesting that he wouldn’t object if Meri moved on.

Two of Kody’s other four wives — Christine (who has since remarried) and Janelle — also left the father of 18 in the past few years.

As she’s watched Season 19 of “Sister Wives” unfold, Meri says she’s enjoyed seeing herself evolve in her journey.

“I like seeing the progression of my life and just seeing things that I say. It’s like, ‘Ooh, that was a good comment.’ I like who I am,” she says.

These days, Meri is treasuring a life defined on her own terms, not Kody’s.

“It’s just cool to be in control and not in limbo land because any limbo land that I live in now is of my own doing,” she says.

Below, Meri gives us an update on the next chapter of her life.

Life after plural marriage

It’s been two years since you and Kody announced that you were permanently terminating your marriage. How would you describe the past two years and this new phase of your life?

Forward movement, very much forward movement. Here’s the thing: It’s not like it was a huge shock to my system because of the eight years prior where we had been separated.

(My friend) Jen made a point in an episode that aired a couple of weeks ago — (Kody’s) emotion possibly was because it was more of a shock to his system because he hadn’t been dealing with it, where I had been dealing with it for eight years.

(After the breakup) I did take some time to just process it and was, like, “OK, whoa, this is done. Like it’s done, done, done. It’s over and it’s weird.” And now I’m moving on and it’s been good.

After your breakup, you relocated to Utah. What inspired that move?

Simply because I had a house there already and there was no reason to stay in Flagstaff. It really just made sense. I had a house, my mom had passed a couple years prior and I was now needing to figure out business and life. I don’t need to be in Flagstaff, so may as well go.

How has your life changed since you moved to Utah?

I feel more free, but not because I had felt stuck before, just kind of more able. (When I was with Kody) I was able to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Nothing was holding me down, even prior to us terminating our marriage. But it’s in a different way now, and it’s just lighter and freer.

Stereotypically, when a wife leaves polygamy, it’s because she was stuck and she was forced to stay there. I didn’t feel like that because at that time, I wanted to make my marriage work because I had committed to it.

Would you ever consider moving back to Flagstaff and living on Coyote Pass?

No. Flagstaff was not a place that was ever on my radar to even move to. When the family brought it up I was like, “Oh, there’s a place called Flagstaff, Arizona. OK. We’ll go with it.”

So not having the family structure like we had before — I’m not saying we’re not a family because it’s still a family — in Flagstaff, it doesn’t make sense for me to be there.

Do you hope to get married again one day?

Absolutely, I do. I am dating — not anybody exclusively, but trying to find my person. I just figure it’ll happen when it happens and when it’s meant to happen — when I find the right person and he’s ready for me and I’m ready for him.

Where she stands with the Brown family today

Do you keep in touch with Kody? How would you describe your dynamic?

I think we’re cordial when we do see each other or when we need to talk. We have conversations and I’ve actually enjoyed some of the conversations. The last time he and I had a conversation of any length or substance, it was good. I was able to call him out on a couple of things; he apologized about a couple of things.

But as far as like, are we friends? Friends talk a lot more often than he and I talk, so I don’t know if you could categorize it as that. 

In a recent episode, Kody called you his “favorite ex-wife.” How did that feel?

I laughed about it because it was so silly. It was fun to kind of make fun of him a little bit with Jen when we got together later. It was like, “Oh, guess what? I’m finally the favorite of something.” I guess now that he’s not a polygamist, he can say he has a favorite.

Do you keep in touch with your former sister wives? 

I would say the same: cordial. I’ve had a little bit of communication with Janelle, probably more than anybody else, but then again, I’ve known Janelle longer than anybody else in my family. I knew her before I even knew Kody.

You have one biological child with Kody and 17 children from plural marriage. Do you keep in touch with the other children in the Brown family? 

I do have relationships with some of the kids and not as much with some of the kids. I think that’s normal across the board. Some people you connect more with and some people you don’t. And that’s kind of how it is.

Christine and Janelle previously suggested that Robyn was Kody’s favorite wife. Was there a time where you felt the same way?

I’m very careful because I don’t think it’s fair or needed to talk trash about anybody. I say it that way because I do feel like there is the Janelle and Christine club and the Kody and Robyn club and I’m not in any of them and I don’t want to be. I don’t say that in any derogatory way at all. It’s just the way it is and I don’t see any benefit of talking trash about any of them and what they’re doing.

Breakup with Kody

In a recent episode, we saw Kody help you move to Utah and he grew emotional as he was saying goodbye. Was that moment confusing for you? 

His emotion in that moment was really, really confusing. I didn’t understand it. I think it just hit him. I think he didn’t expect it to hit him. When I went through with that spiritual divorce earlier, he was like, “Why did you do it so fast?” I was like, “Well, why wouldn’t I?”

Those kinds of things just show me that even though he had already had his mind wrapped around it and he didn’t want to have a relationship with me and he had made his decision a couple years prior,  I just didn’t know it.

Kody seemed to lead you on for many years. What made you want to stay with him? 

The reason why I wanted to stay the whole time was because I had made a marriage commitment that I was committed to. Some might say now that I was never loyal, but obviously I was — I’m just saying — because I stuck with it and I wanted to work through it and figure it out. That’s where my commitment level was.

What was the final straw for you that made you feel ready to move on from your marriage?

Conversations that he was finally willing to have with me. I know that he just was not having the conversations with me because he didn’t want to deal with it. It was easier to set it aside.

When we really started having conversations and he was actually honest with me to my face, which I deserve, (things shifted). There are a lot of people who are like, “Why’d you stay so long? He was saying it to the world forever.” It’s like, yeah, he was, but I deserved to hear it. Maybe it was just a little bit of, “You’re stuck with me until you say it to my face.”

If you could do it all over again, would you have left Kody sooner?

I don’t have any regrets of how it played out because there was so much that I learned about myself in the process that I’m glad about.

I’m confident in my decision of when we decided to split because there’s no question on either of our parts. He might have been there sooner and I didn’t know about it. But for me, I was able to learn a lot about myself. There’s no point in having regrets because you wouldn’t be the person that you are had you not gone through the experiences that you did.